Plagued By Self-Doubt? Try This...

Ever wonder why you feel so much better after writing or talking about something that’s been bringing you down?

Allow me to introduce Jen The Therapist (#notactuallyaqualifiedtherapist). 

My scholarly take: 

Once you get your doubts onto paper (or spill it all to a friend) you realize how silly they sound. Then they stop showing up. They lose their power.

Example: 

When I’m plagued by self-doubt, I pull out my Dollar Store black and white composition notebook. I freewrite to scribble down all my random insecurities. You know, like what if no one cares about what I write? Or reads it? 

I vent all my twisted feelings around writing too slow and being careless about grammar. Whatever the head trash is that morning. Then the fisherman's knot of crusty, fraying rope in my stomach loosens a smidge and I can focus on work.

Turns out there’s almost thirty years of scientific study to back up my real-life experience. (Wish I had found this group of social scientists during my tumultuous twenties.)

In his book, Opening Up by Writing it Down, James Pennebaker describes his style, called expressive writing, as,

“A brief writing technique that helps people understand and deal with emotional upheavals in their lives. It’s a little like self-help therapy without the outlandish claims. And its greatest appeal is that it’s a method with strong scientific evidence behind it.”

It’s the cheapest form of therapy available today. (And who doesn’t love cheap therapy?)

As I pored over the research, one study struck me in particular.

A group of fifty senior engineers, recently laid off by a computer company, (all over 50 years old) agreed to take part in a writing study. The goal was to see if it would help them find new work. (By all accounts they were a rather embittered and hostile lot after losing their jobs.)

The study divided them into three groups. One wrote for 30 minutes a day for five consecutive days about their feelings around the humiliating episodes of being let go by the management. The second group did the same about how they were spending their time while not working. And the third served as a comparison group, so they didn’t write at all. Seven months later, 53% of the group who wrote about their thoughts and feelings had new jobs. Only 18% of the engineers in the other two study groups had landed something new.

Get this - the participants in all three groups went on the same number of interviews.

What made the difference?

Expression. 

Express yourself dammit!

The group who were able to voice and explore their anger and humiliation were also able to put it aside and interview more confidently. In turn, they came across as more promising candidates.

Moral of the story? 

FREEWRITING MAKES YOU MONEY.

Kidding. 🤣

Confronting difficult feelings about upsetting situations helps shift your attitude. And shifting your attitude means you're able to be more positive and move forward confidently. 

Fun fact: the research shows other benefits too.

Pennebaker mentions six specific things in his book that I’ve experienced in developing my own writing practice, called Soul Writing Sessions.

Good news: you don’t have to think of yourself as a writer for this kind of self-expression to work its magic on you.

When I’m struggling with any (or all) of these things my Soul Writing practice helps me untangle my feelings, clear my head, and take a step in a more positive direction. (Even if it’s a baby step.)

You might want to try a regular freewriting (scribbling?) practice to help you:

Hypnotize yourself. Get your current thoughts and feelings out of your head onto the page. And do a timed write about anything that’s on your mind. According to Pennebaker hypnotists use this technique to help clients relax and get into a hypnotic state quicker. When their clients finish writing they tear up the paper and throw it away as a symbolic form of clearing their mind. Ah, freedom.

Become your own guru. Freewriting lets you digest and assimilate experiences you don’t have time to think about during your busy day. Slowing down and getting words on the page helps you sift through them to find a new angle. Getting some distance and perspective from the issue allows new insights to bubble to the surface. And YOU become the source of your own solutions, not a slave to your circumstances.

Have more energy for living, not overthinking. When we go through major emotional upheavals there’s a tendency to obsess about them. Going over every detail in our mind repetitively makes it impossible to think critically about anything else. Like when the guy I was dating dumped me because his ex-girlfriend didn’t like me. It didn't matter whether I was replaying those conversations in my head or trying not to think about him. It was all a major energy drain. Rather than waste entire days obsessing, I did regular scribbling stints to clear my head and say “yes” to serious self-care.

Plus it gave my supportive friends a break from listening. Win-win.

Be kind to your future self. Your fears about the future add stress to the present. For example, worrying about asking your crush out, or your boss for a raise, or moving to a new city. Big possibilities mean big thinking. By letting your mind wander on the page you uncover new options and gain clarity. More headspace = gentler perspective on yourself.

Think of it like a kinked hose: you freewrite the kinks out, the water flows freer from tap to nozzle.

Move into swift, smart decisions with grace. Science shows we skew to negativity. Which rarely leads to great decisions. Caution, diligence, calculation? Absolutely. Unbridled negativity? Not so much. When you’re your own guru, have more energy, are kinder to yourself, and less attached to a certain future, you gain the agency and autonomy to make healthy decisions. Which is a skill we’re not taught in school, but is vital for a life well-lived.

Breathe. Like, fully breathe. Life is stressful. Like that Dreamgirls quote: “Effie, we all got pain.” But reflecting on what’s happening in your life can bring new insights. When I hold Scribbling Circles (a freewriting practice I teach over on Substack) people say how that event is a way for them to “Stop the clock on their lives and take time to reflect.” It lets them slow down and center themselves. Find their inner calm and poise.

Want to take a crack at this brain-science-writing magic? 

Click that magic yellow button and meet me over on Substack.