“It’s just spilled milk,” Sand told us. “You didn’t make a mistake, you only spilled some milk.”

Sand Symes is a modern medicine woman -- a shamanic practitioner. (and if you’ve never heard either of those phrases - stay with me)

In the depths of the pandemic last winter, she held a women’s circle that met every Thursday night for a teaching, an ancestor journey, or a shamanic practice that helped us tune into our inner world. All this to say, that my time with Sand helped me develop a deeper connection to my voice and unique wisdom about life.

One week, she talked about how writing things down can rewire your brain to help embody the teaching. She had us get out our notebooks during the session.

I think you can see where this is going...but trust me - there’s more. (And yep, what she taught was very similar to the book of positive aspects I mentioned in this post.)

We talked about “flipping the script” to make meaning of our life experiences and challenges.

In a nutshell, the suffering we bring on ourselves falls into 3 categories:

Loss - the feeling you’ve lost or you’re always the loser in something
Less - you always have less than...
Never - that never happens to you or for you

These “concepts” we have about ourselves and our lives keep us stuck in our patterns and behaviors.

But when we can finally see how we automatically take on the concept that we’re most comfortable with, we're ready to make our own meaning of our life experiences.

My friend Sian and I talk about this a lot with her writing and life. I just hadn’t applied it to my life in this way.

Being able to make meaning of trauma and grief is a sign that it’s healed. It’s one way you know you’re ready to share the wisdom of it with others.

And there’s always wisdom to share, if you’re willing to dig deep enough.

I decided to share this short exercise with you. Writing about it helps me embody the teaching. And sharing Sand’s wisdom is always a good thing to embody.

So to get the juice from this, you need to become aware of what your story is. The one that comes up every time something doesn’t go your way - or when you get hurt.

It’s that thing you tell yourself that’s so second nature, you don’t even know you’re doing it. A concept about your life that’s part of your DNA.

To help you out, mine goes like this:

I don’t have enough support or help (basically I’m all alone)

I’m not smart enough

So I don’t work hard enough or make an effort like other people do

And because of that, I’ve missed my chance.

“They” have all the love and support “they” need, so “they” can work hard and make a huge effort and are rewarded with getting the opportunities, (the guy, the house etc.) that pay off.

(I know that’s three - but I’ve had a lot of rich life experiences to sift through, so there are a few layers. 🤣)

I find it fascinating. And transformational to zero in on my shtick.

If I flip the script, it goes like this:

I can ask for the help and support I need.

Then, I can figure out what needs to be done and what I have to do (or learn, or understand) about the situation.

With the support and help I have, once I understand what needs to be done, I can do it. And new opportunities will open up for me that I didn’t expect.

Bonus points: If I feel like I chose wrong or made a mistake, that's the universe telling me there’s a better way to do this. And I appreciate the message.

So here’s the drill…

Anything you think is a loss -- flip the script and find an appreciation.

Anything you see in your life or yourself as less than (example: you made a mistake about something) flip it to learn and grow from it. Trust that you have enough and are so much more than this outcome. It’s simply the universe's way of telling you -- there’s a different way of doing this, please pay attention.